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"The Night House"- Excerpt 3

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ethan.kinkle784
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Joined: 02-25-2012
 
 
"The Night House"- Excerpt 3
ethan.kinkle784 Posted: Fri, Apr 6 2012 11:18 AM Reply

Happy Easter to all!! Hope all is well with everyone. Want to thank all of you who have given "The Night House" a look and commented.Thought I would go ahead and post the next excerpt. As always, hope you enjoy and I would love all constructive comments and criticism to help make this the best it can be!

 

Thanks Again,

Ethan

 

Needless to say it isn’t every day that an artist meets one of his adoring fans and falls for her but there was something about Alexandra that Nicholas could not ignore. She was eighteen, almost nineteen when he was twenty at the time they met. That day she wore a red Cardigan which, despite its function, showed off her figure well. Her dark brown hair was simply hanging loosely, down past her shoulders.

Her smile and eyes worked together in a combination of piercing grace and sensuality. And the thing that attracted Nicholas most of all was that she didn’t even have to try. She was just herself, and because of it, he felt incredibly comfortable around her. More comfortable in fact, than any other girl that he had been ever been around.

            They spent the summer getting to know each other. He would stay in Jersey City for a week and then he’d drive back up to Boston to be with his family for a week and this cycle continued on for much of the summer. While he was in Jersey City, he could see New York and this excited him. He grew up in Boston, but New York’s size was something to behold.           

            He would take Alexandra across the bridge over the Hudson River and he would hail a taxi for her and they would go to Times Square. They would go to Chinatown. They would go to 5th Avenue and this excited him. The bright lights were incredible, especially at night as the whole city became electric. The electricity drew him in and made it incredibly difficult to leave.

            As they would walk Times Square, Alexandra was impressed as she always had been at the architecture, but when she really looked inside of herself, she longed for Chatham. The serenity of not hearing a taxi driver blaring its horn seemed like a distant memory to her now and though she loved spending time with Nicholas, she wished it was in a different place. A place where one could find pleasure in the water and sand getting stuck in between your toes. A place where the horizon went on for days and you could actually see the sun and stars. A place where you were considered a coward if you ordered beef from the menu. But despite her longing, the summer traveled on and she loved it.

            Eventually summers end.

**

            “Nicholas, we are having the wedding in Chatham whether you like it or not. It is home to me.”

            “You lived there for five years and your whole family lives in Jersey City. What would we do, drive them all up there?”

            “I don’t think you understand. The five years that I spent in Chatham were the best five years of my life…or…at least the best five years of my single life, and I think it would be nice if we all kind of tied life in full circle and went back to the place that means so much to me.” She wasn’t mad at him for considering other options. They had already determined that after the wedding they would move into a house in Cape Cod, but Nicholas thought that the idea of a wedding in, say, Vegas, would be a bit more electric than in a small town of no more than a couple thousand people.

            But Nicholas would always bend for Alexandra. She brought out a side to him that no other woman was able to. She made him feel like he was the only person in the world that mattered. She made him feel like there wasn’t a thing in the world that she wouldn’t do to keep him safe.

“Okay, I guess Chatham it is.” He said with sarcastic disappointment.

            “Well if it such a bad thing, then why don’t we just…Not get married?” she replied back, her sensual smile crossing her face. She began to walk towards him.

            “Oh I don’t know. Maybe there is something about you that I just can’t resist.” He began to play with a ringlet of hair that fell beside her cheek.

            “And what might that be Mr. Durand?” She could hardly contain her laughter and pride at the same time. She bit her lip.

            “If I told you, the secret would be out. And I don’t like to tell secrets.” He touched her face gently and kissed her on the eye once…twice. She touched his face in response and did the same.

            “Nicholas, have I ever told you what you mean to me?”

            “Let’s see, I think the last time you did was about half and hour ago.” They laughed. “But feel free to tell me again, it never gets old.” They began to kiss passionately. His hands could not leave her face as it was so precious to him. There was a fervent desire that neither of them could contain and it was about to be unleashed.

            “Hold me. Just…hold me.” He did.

            The passion was growing as they headed toward the bed. He began to lay her down gently. They were each so ready in their own way for the love to unfurl.

            The doorbell rang.

            “You have got to be kidding me.” Nicholas said, the top two buttons of his shirt now undone.

            “I’ll get it, you stay here.” She began to get up and then Nicholas laughed.

            “Alex, you can’t get it…you’re naked. Stay here, I’ll be right back.” He walked casually to the door and opened it. He was surprised to see Alexandra’s brother from Phoenix standing before him. He shouted down the hall.

            “Alex, it’s Jonathan. Why don’t you show yourself.” He laughed to himself. I love secrets. “Jonathan, it’s great to see you, what are you doing here?”

            “I’ll tell you both when Alexandra gets here.” His face was rather grim and this caught Nicholas off guard as Jonathan was very much a happy go lucky kind of guy.

            “Alex, would you hurry up dear, we don’t have all day.” He shouted down the hall. “We were making omelets.” I love secrets but I hate lying. “Why don’t you come in. Could I get you something to drink?”

            “That won’t be necessary, thank you though. I’ll be very brief.” This really caught Nicholas off guard. Jonathan was never the one to turn down an invitation, especially when it came to his family.

            “Alex, would you hurry up, the omelets will be fine.” Lies and it made him laugh.

            Finally she appeared, dressed in a bathrobe that was several sizes to big. It belonged to Nicholas. She beamed as she saw her brother.

            “Jonathan, how are you?” she ran up to him and embraced him, the excitement ringing in her voice. It had been about a year since they had last seen each other and every meeting was a special one.

            She looked up into his face and in an instant knew that this was not a surprise visit. Something was gravely wrong and he had something to say. She began to prepare for the words.

            “Alexandra.” His voice was low and frantically dusky.

            The urgency was in her eyes. A tear began to fall from her eye. Nicholas placed his arm around her. He knew it would do little to comfort her.

            “Alexandra. Mom died.”

            She fell to the floor.

 
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StoryTeller
Posts :5
Joined: 03-27-2012
 
 
RE:"The Night House"- Excerpt 3
StoryTeller replied on Sun, Apr 8 2012 5:57 PM Reply

OK  You did it again!  Fantastic.  Here's what I found:

"She brought out a side to him that no other woman was able to."  I would change "to him" to "in him."

I think the next one is just a typo...“Well if it such a bad thing, then why don’t we just…Not get married?”   it should be it's.

That's it!  Great job.  Love it.  Love Sidney Sheldon a lot too.  Lea

 
Top 500 Contributor
ethan.kinkle784
Posts :16
Joined: 02-25-2012
 
 
RE:"The Night House"- Excerpt 3
ethan.kinkle784 replied on Wed, Apr 11 2012 7:23 PM Reply

Thank you so much! Glad to hear you like it! What you pointed out was definitely a typo. So you think there is some potential with this thing?

 
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