Starting Out on my First Novel

Hello everyone. I am working on my first novel. I have always wanted to be an author, and many times over, I have sought out to do what I love best and that is write. It seems as though life itself always got in the way and the circumstances lead me to become more of a reader. But since I have gotten older and much more settled down, I find I have all the time in the world to write that novel I have always dreamed of. My only question is do I have what it takes? I want to share a small part of the opening of my first chapter with you and hopefully get input on my writing. Thank you so much for helping me.

The title of the book is called "Dark Holler" it is a horror story that takes place in a holler in the black hills of Tennessee.

Dark Holler

                                                                                      1

     Dark Holler sat off route 67 in the black hills of Tennessee, a spit on the map, about 50 miles from the nearest town. Bobby Dean, Billy Rhymer, and Jess Dugger, were there, hanging out in the clearing; half-mile down from Pickens Bridge, watching the water, drinking from the mason jar, and talking about nothing in particular.

                                                                                      2

      The handle clicked. Bobby let down the hatch of his faded yellow 65 rambler wagon. He reached in and pushed the hand-sewn patch quilt to the side - a gift from his Aunt Ruby, 14 years gone. She died in 78 of the big C. Bobby had forgotten almost everything about her, except, that she loved him, and before she died, every bone in her body had snapped into from the rot. When he tried to push his mind to remember, he thought of blueberry pie, a ceramic rooster setting inside a bare cupboard, and a heavy-set redheaded woman in a black polyester pantsuit with a small sunflower apron hugged about her waist. When he pushed too far, he had dreams - dark dreams.

Hi Lori,

First do read when you write, examine every sentence. How other author's string ideas together and develop paragraphs. Look with a critical eye.  Writing is hard work. I had someone not long ago that was shocked when I told him that he must rewrite, not once but several times. He was under the impression that whatever he put on the page was finished.  Oh how easy that road would be. I don't know how much time you spent on the brief passage you post here and there really isn't enough to critique. I did note that you are in love with adjectives and apply several to each particular object described. I would try to limit them a bit. You are developing a scene and you talk about the boys gathered in a certain location talking about nothing in particular. I find it more interesting to read their conversation and not just a description of them standing around. Why are they in this place? What are they saying?  Is it hot outside? Are they drinking beer? Exchanging items from the car? What does the quilt have to do with where they are?  If the aunt is fat say so... have him remember her as round, pudgy, or just call her fat. Heavy set doesn't give me an image of her.

I am curious to know what goes on in the dark place.  8) 

Thank you Maggi for the critique. First, let me say that I really very much appreciate the honesty and that you took time to review and look over the bit that I submitted. 

I actually have almost a whole chapter done; however, I am doing a rewrite and trying to watch the adjectives. All the questions that you asked such as: Why are they in this place? What are they saying? Is it hot outside? Are they drinking beer? Exchanging items from the car? What does the quilt have to do with where they are? They are all answered in the first chapter.

Oh and you were so right regarding "Fat" instead of heavy-set. Seems I might have been tip toeing around where I should have just came out with it. The line does sound much better now. I will remember to be blunt with my wording where I need to be. As for the dark place,  I flash into a dream, where a child is standing at the bedside of his dying aunt watching her struggle and with her last dying breath she speaks into the silence between them and says "Thier Coming." . After that, the story picks up at the clearing and goes into conversation.

I realize I am a bit rusty, and will probably encounter a world of rewrites, but I am up to the challenge. If it takes me the next five years, I want to get it right, and have a thrilling horror story that gives the reader something new to fear.

Again, Thank you for your critique. I do listen and will do what I can to apply it to my writing.

Best of luck, Lori. I finished my first novel and now like you said, I'm in a world of re-writes.

Thank you Ruben for your kind words. I wish you the very best of success with your Novel and the best of luck. My only regret with writing is, I let things get in the way and didn't start taking it serious till later in life. However, I should look at it not as loss, but as experience; now that I have all the time in the world, I can concentrate one hundred percent on the writing.

I have awhile to go before my novel is complete. I am in the first chapter, because I went back to re-write. Tightening up the story sounds better. I removed alot of the adverbs that were unnecessary, and I became bolder were I needed to be. Maggi gave me some good advice and it is working out for me. Another help has been Stephen King. He wrote a book on writing. I find it to be a source of good information and advice.

I am anxious to read your writing. Let me know when you get completed and published, so I may purchase a copy. Congradulations on completing your novel. Although, your in the world of re-writes, look at it this way, it only gets better.