The Writer community is FREE to join. To participate you must either login or register for an account.
Login   Register for an Account

Imaginary Mermaids

This post has 4 Replies | 2 Followers rated by 0 users
Sort Posts:
Top 500 Contributor
voiceart
Posts :27
Joined: 08-12-2011
Florida
 
 
Imaginary Mermaids
voiceart Posted: Tue, Sep 6 2011 10:30 PM Reply

Imaginary Mermaids

Pools of aqua

shimmering designs

imaginary mermaids

stroke the hands of time

 

fluid in motion

silent in their ways

journey through a dreamland

of God's eternal bay

 

drifting along

then spiraling deep

never revealing

the secrets they keep

 

miles of oceans

gulfs and lagoons

then surfacing briefly

beneath a full moon

 

ageless illusions

connected by water

imaginary mermaids

truly nature's daughters:

 
Top 50 Contributor
mother's happy child
Posts :257
Joined: 03-24-2010
 
 
Re: Imaginary Mermaids
mother's happy child replied on Wed, Sep 7 2011 7:32 PM Reply

Hi Voiceart,

I like this little Imaginary Mermaids.  It's light and I can picture them spiraling deep - not worried about their own secrets, but bringing joy to those that watch.

Thanks,

Mother's Happy Child

 
Top 150 Contributor
Myra Ting
Posts :86
Joined: 07-18-2008
Yankalilla, South Australia
 
 
Re: Imaginary Mermaids
Myra Ting replied on Fri, Oct 21 2011 7:55 PM Reply

..........And if you watch ever so closely through the surf and the spray, they ride the white horses as they race from the day!

Thanks for the vision, voiceart

My inspiration; what if?

Put pen to paper

Write now, not later,

Don't hesitate

Just write it!

 
Top 50 Contributor
thewordmaster
Posts :214
Joined: 03-22-2011
 
 
Re: Imaginary Mermaids
thewordmaster replied on Fri, Oct 21 2011 9:39 PM Reply

You do capture their beauty, of which i can see in my mind's eye.

from childhood's hour I have not been As others were - I have not seen

As others saw - i could not bring My passions from a common spring

(from Alone - Edgar Allan Poe)

 

 
Not Ranked
Sister Anya
Posts :4
Joined: 11-20-2011
 
 
Re: Imaginary Mermaids
Sister Anya replied on Sun, Nov 20 2011 9:21 AM Reply

i think it's very beautiful, fluid in all ways except for the awkward "the" in the first stanza at the end. (maybe using a different tense would set the fluidity in motion earlier). I hope you don't mind the thought.

Thanks,

Anya

 
Previous | Next Page 1 of 1 (5 items) | RSS
Copyright © 2010 Kalmbach Publishing Co.
Powered by Community Server (Commercial Edition), by Telligent Systems
Subscriber & Member Login
E-mail:
Password:
Remember me
Welcome to WriterMag.com!
Free Newsletter
Get our free newsletter
Search our Community
in