I'm sorry to hear your frustration with your self publishing experience. I'm a self published writer as well, and I can't say enough good things about the process! I published through AuthorHouse and was thrilled by the end product.
One word of advise for you is that your publisher will never be your publicist. No matter which publishing house you work with, that's just not their primary function! An author must be willing to promote themselves as much as their publicist will. I totally understand how difficult that can be especially if you're not a 'people person'.
Even Michael Hyatt from Thomas Nelson teaches that writers have to be willing to be their own promoter! The publisher is the manufacturer of the book, but the author and the publicist give it wings!
Remember, noone can champion your book project like you can...you're its biggest fan! You can do it!! :)