Fractured language

A literary relative e-mailed me last week appalled at a spate of glaring grammatical mistakes she'd seen in the space of just a few days. She offered this roundup (prepare to gag):

• "I was watching TV this weekend," she reported, "and a sign popped up on my show informing me, 'Your watching TLC.' "

• At a doctor's office, "a posted sign informed us that keeping quiet was for all of the patient's comfort."

• "This morning I was reading child-care newsletters at work and they informed teachers that 'Good teaching is one-forth preparation and three-forths theater.' The teachers were also directed to page 4, which contained info about 'this weeks center activity.' Also: 'Be prepared for the days lesson.' "

Desperate reaction of literary relative: "NOOOOooooo no no. I'm surrounded!"

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