UNSPOKEN - The Writer

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Poetry

Started by NEOPHYTE at 10-29-2006 1:58 PM. Topic has 1 replies.

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10-29-2006, 1:58 PM

NEOPHYTE

Joined on 05-06-2003
USA
Posts 333

UNSPOKEN

	Unspoken Freckled yellow, a crimson leaf eludes gravity, pirouettes and careens, tumbling in flight until succumbing to land upon blades iced white. I eye up to its wooden womb that bore it not just through birth, but existence. Misers of vitality, the leaf’s brethren cling in prismatic protest to expiring essences suckling the dried teats of a sapless mother. Instead of Gaia, I’m reminded of words Not the kind that stain parchment which pale in comparison to the resonance and emotions of human chords but those that never came to being: Ones that budded in the mind, meant for a moment, yet, through reservations, stemming from fear of pride. tugged at the tongue, denied, truncated away for another season maybe a different day. As the arctic breaths pull the leaves one after another into a dancing decline. Each one whispers echoes of the past utterances of missed opportunities: “I’m sorry,” comes from an orange “Don’t go,” from a red “I’m proud of you.” “I have faith in you.” “I love you.” Regrets that pang my soul and I know I do not wish the sum of my scattered remains to be a pile of words -- unspoken. Tim §;~) Indytim28@aol.com Through constructive criticism, not false praise or sarcasm, is the idea of perfection truly sought.
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11-02-2006, 5:08 PM

kday01

Joined on 11-21-2005
Jacksonville, FL 32223
Posts 60

Re: UNSPOKEN

	Hi, What's most interesting to me are the lines in the final stanza--the idea of colors having sentiments. I'm wondering if the reader might be able to jump into that part sooner? Or maybe sharpen the focus earlier? There's a lot of narrative up front. Just some ideas for you to ponder. Thanks for sharing your poem.--best, Kay Day Best regards, Kay Day www.kayday.com
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