First consolidate these paragraphs – and shorten them to one or two.
Next, who is the target audience? Who is going to buy this manuscript?
Make it short and sweet.
Next, rework the sentence that starts with “My Writing” and replace that with Elizabeth Byler Younts has writer for –
This should get you started.
It didn’t grab my attention and I got confused with the 19th and 15th centuries. Also, I almost felt as if it were 2 books for some reason.
Hope this helps
Mark
 byElizabeth wrote: |
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In the middle of summer and the middle of the night, three children sneak from their homes for a ritual of their own invention. They share stolen trinkets, voice secrets, and deepen a bond that will endure as they grow to be adults. But as their innocence falls away through the years, the secrets they share — and those they keep from one another — become increasingly grave and threatening.
Mid-Summer Secrets is a 107,000 word women’s literary drama set in late 19th century Philadelphia.
THOMAS LONGFELLOW appears to have a charmed life; wealthy parents, a credible education, and two of the best friends a boy could want. However, beneath this happy lifestyle his parents harbor the knowledge of his true paternity that could destroy the Longfellow reputation and a promising future. As these secrets unfold it dramatically affects the lives of a spoiled yet stunning heiress, CONNIE BROWN, and her faithful, poor-born companion ELLEN FAIRCHILD. Both young women not only care deeply for Thomas but also harbor mysteries of their own.
Just as The Odyssey inspired the intriguing and bittersweet mood of Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier, Mid-Summer Secrets is based on the 15th century folk ballad of Lord Thomas and Fair Ellen; a haunting tune that has been passed down through four generations of my family. The voice of the novel is comparable in style to Falling Angels by Tracy Chevalier and will appeal to those same audiences.
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