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Poetry

Started by pviel at 08-14-2005 6:14 PM. Topic has 6 replies.

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08-14-2005, 6:14 PM

pviel

Joined on 02-10-2005
Posts 180

Lunar Event

	Lunar Event oh my dear approachable moon unlike the boastful sun too bright to see or the timid twinkling stars mere specks of light or the planets ill-defined by the naked eye you show your face with honesty clouds will not hide you forever the trees frame your brilliance and you come at harvest time bathed in gold as big as life come sit with me as I dream in the cool night glow take me to places I'll never go Deep down we both know who we are and we may never pass this way again so we dance in words and the spaces between them
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08-14-2005, 6:29 PM

Lark

Joined on 11-17-2003
Posts 2,325

RE: Lunar Event

	Nicely done "lunacy" here! I like the comparisons to other heavenly bodies.... "Ill-defined" has that little dash.
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08-14-2005, 7:18 PM

Footsteps

Joined on 03-17-2005
Long Island
Posts 662

RE: Lunar Event

	I agree with Lark. This is a great anthropomorphic metaphor. I like the final couplet. Footsteps to the Resurrection: Meditations in Verse on the Events of Passion Week available from PleasantWordBooks.com
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08-14-2005, 7:30 PM

pviel

Joined on 02-10-2005
Posts 180

RE: RE: Lunar Event

	QUOTE: Originally posted by Lark Nicely done "lunacy" here! I like the comparisons to other heavenly bodies.... "Ill-defined" has that little dash. Now you know why I drove my teachers crazy years ago. ps good to be back Deep down we both know who we are and we may never pass this way again so we dance in words and the spaces between them
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02-25-2006, 4:04 AM

tyler_giusti

Joined on 02-25-2006
Posts 36

Re: Lunar Event

	Hmmm... I liked it. You got the image across very well. Another thought: with a little work, this could be a degeneration poem (A poem with longer lines at the top, that get shorter and shorter 'til they hit bottom, making a \ / shape if your lines are centered.) But I'm not trying to persuade you, it's just another way to look at it. -Giusti I'm back from vacation, and finished with the pile of work on my desk when I arrived back. In the meantime, I still detest the idea of private forums, etc, etc, etc. Etc.
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03-24-2006, 1:10 AM

LinnAnn

Joined on 11-06-2003
Posts 3,566

Re: Lunar Event

	Absolutely fantastic! "unlike the boastful sun"-great emotional and mental visual stuff here especially with the contrast to the "timid twinkling stars". I shared it with a friend and she said it was good as well. love, LinnAnn
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03-25-2006, 8:01 PM

cpa41

Joined on 02-07-2004
Posts 12

Re: Lunar Event

	I really like the first two lines although the entire work is very good. The contrast in those two lines is so clear it really forms a vivid image in my mind.
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