As Brian knocked on the door he knew this encounter could be a very unpleasant experience but it was necessary. His neighbor in the quiet little subdivision had lived next door for only a few months but that was time enough for the atrocity. His knock was answered by the man that he knew only as Mike. They had met briefly a few times and usually just across the fence that separated their back yards.

“Hi ya Brian come on in”, Mike said in greeting as he opened the door.

“I’d rather not. I’m here to talk with you about your fence.” During their first encounter soon after Mike had moved in Brian had pointed out that there was a hole underneath the fence that he expected Brian to repair. Brian and his wife Elena had a small poodle with a pedigree. Left in disrepair the fence would allow the poodle to move outside their backyard and Elena could not permit this or something might happen to “Her baby”. Brian suspected that the dog lived a far better life than they did.

“Okay, what about it”, said Mike as he laid the hammer he had been holding on the shelf next to the door. He wasn’t really sure what was wrong with the fence but he knew he was about to find out.

“Your mutt dog has been coming over to our yard and engaging Fluff. We talked about the hole under your fence before and you were to repair this.”

“Fluff must be your white dog?” asked Mike.

“Fluff is no ordinary dog. She is a French Poodle with a pedigree”, Brian said with undisguised irritation.

“I see”, said Mike. “Let me see if I understand you properly. You want me to do something about the hole that Fluff dug under the fence to allow her to come into my back yard? Is that correct?” Mike had seen her dive under the fence several times when his dog had been in the back yard. Apparently she was rather adapt at it and had been doing this quite some time, even before he had moved in. Mike thought that he had stopped the intrusions weeks ago by placing boards over the hole.

“Fluff did no such thing. She would never be guilty of something so vain.”

“Come on Brian that poodle of yours is a dog and dogs do those kinds of things”, Mike said.

“Preposterous” exclaimed Brian. “Fluff has much more refinement than to dig in the ground with her paws!”

Mike laughed aloud for several seconds before saying, “Man, she is still a dog. Besides take a look at that hole under the fence and you’ll see that only your poodle could fit through it.”

“You must do something about the hole under your fence immediately and I will be billing you for half of the veterinarian bills.”

“Vet bills? What vet bills”, asked Mike.

“The ones for Fluff to deliver your mutt’s puppies, Elena is there with her now!” Brain stated in a venomous tone.

After almost a full minute of uncontrollable laughter Mike regained his composure to state that he would not be paying any bills for Fluff to deliver puppies.

Mike’s laughter angered Brian even further, if that was possible. Brian determined that this matter was better left to the authorities since Mike was being so unreasonable. As he descended the steps from the door Brian stated “You have not heard the last of this. There are laws against such atrocities! I will be back with the police!”
Closing the door as Brian made his way to the street Mike couldn’t help but interject one last parting shot between bouts of laughter. “Hey, let me know when visiting hours are at the vet so I can bring Gordo by to visit.”

The next week Brian received a letter that he expected to be a check for the veterinarian bills he had forwarded to Mike. Instead it was only a hand written sheet of paper that once again brought anger.

Brian,

I’ll not pay any of those bills you sent for Fluff. I don’t think that you have one a
complete blood test on Gordo to prove he is the father. However, I will help you
with an ad in the newspaper. How does this sound?

Puppies For Sale: Half poodle and half sneaky neighbor’s mutt.

Sincerely,

Mike

Wow, I really had fun with this one. Hope you all enjoy! - R

Attack of the Bunny

"Mmmmmph Mmmmmmnnnph ow mmmmifff mooud mmmmmppnn..."

"Sir? Sir? I can't understand you. Sir? Is there anyone I can call?"

"Mmm Mmmiiph. Mmmmmll mmm mmmmiiph."

Rubbing her temple, Elena Jorgenson turned away from the patient. This was a strange case indeed. Her first real day as a student nurse, and she couldn't even understand her patient. How will it look if I go running for help on my first day, she thought. Elena ducked her head out the door and looked nervously down the corridor. Dr. Sam! Elena reached her hand out and pulled the doctor in by her wrist.

"Elena!" cried Dr. Samantha Barnes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm so sorry, Doctor. I...I just don't know what to do. I can't even...I can't, I mean, he's mumbling so..." Elena blubbered.

"Elena, slow down. I'm not doing anything pressing at the moment. Tell me what's wrong."

Elena could do nothing but point at the strange man. Dr. Sam walked over to the man and looked. "Oh my..." He was an average looking man, good build, and wearing nice, if wrinkled, clothes. Average looking, that is, except for the fact that his lips were swollen to ten times their normal size. Dr. Sam looked closer at the man's mouth, and with a gloved hand gently examined what seemed like hundreds of tiny puncture wounds and scratches.

"MMMmmrrr? Mmrr mmu mmm mmmmmrrr?"

"Where is this patient's chart?" Dr. Sam asked, looking at the fumbling nurse. Elena handed over the chart, and looked expectantly at the doctor. Dr. Sam read for a while, and then looked quizzically back at Elena. Finally, she could take it no longer, and the good doctor let out a bellowing laugh she would remember for a long time.

"Nurse, did you read this chart?"

"Um, no Doctor. It was just dropped off by the triage nurse. It's just he didn't list any emergency contacts so I was supposed to find out who to call, and I couldn't even do that!" Elena was near tears yet again. She watched as the doctor pulled a small vial out of the medical cabinet, and injected the poor man's face with fluid.

"There Mr. Davies," Dr. Sam said. "That should do it. Nurse, this man reports that he was..."

At that moment, in a flurry of movement, a rather flamboyant creature burst into the room, trailed by two nurses. The nurses were shrieking, "Sir! You can't bring that thing into the ER!" But the man persisted, fluttering about the room, brandishing a small fuzzy creature, which he waved about as if it were the key piece of evidence missing from a murder trial.

"What did you do to my Bunny?" he wailed dramatically.

"What is that?" shrieked Elena.

Only the doctor remained composed. "This.." she said, stifling another outburst of laughter, "This is our perpetrator, Bunny."

"Eeep at finnng amay frrrrm mmmeee!" cried Mr. Davies, apparently beginning to feel the effects of the anti-inflammatory drug.

"THAT MAN was dog-sitting for me and I came back to pick up my poor little Bunny Wunkins, and found her all alone with this scribbled bit of nonsense about the hospital on his door," the flamboyant creature looked defiantly at Mr. Davies. Meanwhile, Mr. Davies was looking, terrified, at the dog, though it couldn’t be larger than a small football.

"Well, Mr...?" Dr. Sam began, looking at the creature with the dog.

"Mitchell, my name is Mitchell."

"Well, Mitchell," continued Dr. Sam. "It seems your little Bunny there has taken a liking to your friend Mr. Davies. Or, rather, I would imagine, she's taken a liking to something Mr. Davies ate."

"eeenuuup uuuddder," said Mr. Davies, still shaken at the presence of the tiny puppy.

"Aha, peanut butter," Dr. Sam replied. "And, I assume you ate this peanut butter before lying down for a nap with Bunny?"

Mr. Davies nodded.

"It seems, indeed, Mitchell, that your little Bunny has a great fondness for peanut butter, and poor Mr. Davies here woke up to find her chewing away at his lips. Mr. Davies, you'll be just fine, once the anti-inflammatory does its work. And, Mitchell, I'm afraid you'll have to remove Bunny from the ER, before you give one of these nurses, or Mr. Davies, a coronary. And now, I really must get back to my other patients. But it's been a joy, a real joy."

With that, Dr. Sam was gone, leaving the nurses and the two men alone to stare, dumb-founded, at the tiny dog which had caused so many problems.

Butterfly---you had my daughter and I confused. Your piece is 'Attack of the Bunny" but it's a dog in the story? The capital B of the Bunny clued me in it was the name of the dog, but more clarity would be good. The peanut butter part was cute!
love, LinnAnn

Noah and Val.

Can anyone tell me how to re-edit a piece after it is posted.

Pepper should have a capital P. Ooops! [:)]

Thanks.

Borza--Totally bonkers! Fleas! Where is the emergency room? Granted the emergency room wasn't listed as a 'must' but by the title I thought that would be obvious. lol
love, LinnAnn

QUOTE: Originally posted by borza2000ad

Ooops! Here's my new ending....

It was all a dream by a dog lying on a table in the new hit reality TV show, 'Emergency Room Challenge' where members of the public have to operate on a small animal for the chance to win their own practice. [:)]

How's that?


Ooooo....that's just wrong. Funny, but so so wrong. It'll probably be on Fox next Spring. - R

---

"Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an
experiment." ~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Linn Ann,

Thanks for the critique. It was just a little ditty I threw together in a few minutes. Right about the fill in though. I agree - I saw the holes in it too. Hey, it was getting late and my wine glass was empty (as Rena French would say).

Dave