Kay
I know exactly what you mean. Writing has taken a back seat for so many years, out of necessity, it is the main reason I never published anything. Everyone tells me to, but darned if I didn't have to have 2 or 3 jobs on occasion. Like they say "You're so busy making a living, you don't have time to make any money".

Even this forum takes away from what I should be doing. That is, polishing & submitting, & writing new ones. I've been a member for six months now, and hav gotten feedback on enough that I probably don't need to submit any more, even though my stockpile still has not been exhausted. I feel I know what to look for in my own material.

However, the old arch enemy - time - is still who he is.

Flea.

Time. What a beautiful and inhibiting word. I understand what you are saying. What a true pirate time is, and the same time a true character. Thank you for your input.

God bless,.
kganz

I've always felt sorry for those who are prisoners to time and family and circumstance, but I also believe we all have twenty-four hours in each and every day, and we all choose how we spend those hours.

And we all have a limited number of hours. We're born with a certain number of hours in the bank, and when we withdraw the last of those hours, we die. And none of us is given a bank statement showing just how many hours we have. I determined early on, in my twenties, that I was going to use my hours in the way that mattered most to me, whatever the cost. I made it work. I doubt I would have or could have had I not made the decision to walk down a certain road and not turn back.

At a time when he had nothing to show for his writing but several thousand rejection slips, and when his entire family was urging him to abandon writing, find a career, do something else with his time, William Saroyan said, "I am a writer or I am nothing." As it turned out, he was a very great writer.

I've lived by this philosophy, and so does my wife, and I've instilled it into my children. Life is short. Any of us may find we've withdrawn the last hour in our time account at any moment. In the final accounting, I believe the last question we'll be asked is, "Did you use your time, or did your time use you?"

I don;t think it matters whether or not our dreams are realistic. I don't think success lies in whether or not we become rich and famous and highly published. Success lies in following the dream every minute of every day. It's the journey that matters, not the destination. It's the road we travel. Do we have the courage and determintaion to walk, as Robert Frost put it, the road less travelled by.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

You can start down this road at fourteen, at forty, or at ninety-three. The trick is to travel it without looking back, without regret, and in the knowledge that the road itself is the dream, not wherever it leads.

Writing can take away from family responsibilities if you let it. I'm not aware of your family situation, but sometimes it is simply a matter of organizing your time schedule.

Another idea I've used as my own method is to keep a small notebook with you at all times. When an idea arises, jot it down for future reference.

Writing is NEVER a useless dream. Even if your work would never get published (and I pray this is not the case), your writing will serve as a legacy for your children. They will read your thoughts and get to know who you really are inside...like keeping a journal.

NEVER give up hope...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE!!

I wish you luck in all you do! [angel]

I find the dilemma of time to be a great one. I have always wanted to be a published novelist and poet. It has been a dream of mine since the age of eleven. I have worked so many long hours over the years and became a single mother in my early twenties. Time was something I did not have. As my daughter aged, I thought I would be able to spend more time writing, but the need for money increased and my paying job took over to a point that it was all that I could think about. The stress level was so great that it had made me physically ill, and writing became a dream that I had given up on.

Now, in my thirties, I became unemployed due to the closing of my companies doors and I decided to make a go of my dreams. I spent the past year writing every day and completed a novel, started another novel, finished three children’s books and wrote many new poems. I cannot seem to find an agent, and my dreams are falling short along with money and I am returning to work this week. I am so afraid that my mind will not be able to separate from the stress of work and a teenager that demands a lot of attention and I am struggling to find a way to do it all.

I know most of the writers in this forum work full time and write after or before work but I do not know if I can go back to sixty hours a week, run a business, money, employees, insurance…. and continue to clear my mind enough to continue my most recent novel. I feel that I have been throwing away my gift of story telling and rhyme over the years and it breaks my heart. I know that writing is what I was meant to do and the past year has been a gift to me. I will continue to submit the completed work until I find the right agent/publisher, but the fear of ending things here is killing me inside.

Mamammia,

I' m sorry so when I first responded to this thread I did not tell you how wonderful your poem was. It does question what we do, why we do it, in what space of time, and if time really matters in the importance of life. Thank you, I needed to read something beautiful contained within my thoughts.

Jamesiritchie,

You are always truthful in your writing and I wish I could take your words, make them my own and be able to live my life as you do. I was raised by practical parents, not artsy idealists that I seem to be, so there is my problem. I am responsible for three young lives other than my own, and my family makes it clear to me. They they paid for my education, and now it is up to me to stand on my own. Writing to them is a silly dream that there is no time for now. But perhaps after raising my children I will still have "time" to live a dream. I hope that dream never leaves. I was married for a long time, didn't have to work, and wrote within those minutes. I never imagined I would be divorced and would have to leave my dream to financially take care of my children.
I love your analogy of drawing time from a bank and it caught me. I understand it completely, but by drawing on the bank of time I have only so much time to give my children a good and decent life. I want for them all the things I did not have. My job is sure money in the bank and a good life for them. My daughter seems to aspire to writing, and although I am still young I would love for the opportunity to make her secure, so that perhaps she could live out her dream, with me backing her. I do not have anybody to back me, but at least I can do great things for her in the future and perhaps answer to her dream. I will understand her dream and be proud she is not backing down from something so great inside her. I will never tell her that her dreams are futile and incomprehensible.
I appreciate the fact that you spoke of never relinquishing your writing. It means something to me, and also to all that read this thread.
kganz

MJ,
Appreciate your response. My life is raising three children on my own and working full time. I do have great help from grandparents and a wonderful babysitter. When I was pregnant with my youngest I would wake up at 4AM just to write. Now this child wakes up when I do, refuses to go to bed without me, so there is never a free moment unless I demand it. I work out of a home office so at times in the past I took slow days as my own, writing. I feel guilty, and have pretty much stopped doing that unless it is a Friday afternoon. I also have two other children who need me as well. I'm sure time will alleviate this situation, but it is still frustrating when I want to do other things than being a Mommy, and a workhorse for my company. I would like to be able to balance things, but for the here and now I don't have a free minute, hence my exploration on this topic! But I guess I do have a free moment now!
kganz

Firstworks,
Wow! It was nice to hear from someone in similar circumstances. I hope the best for you. The juggle of writing, loving our passion placed against responsibilities is ugly.
A lot of people talk about the balance of having a job, and children. Mine are not teenagers, very young, and have gone through an ugly divorce. I hope you find the time to be a parent as well as a writer.

thanks,
Kganz

I

Hello,

I can certainly relate to your worries. I am a mother, wife and caregiver. I have those responsibilites as well as trying to make it as a writer. I have suffered from anxiety/panic which made things very difficult for years. However, I have learned to deal with it.  I worry about everything anyway, especially finances.  I have felt like throwing in the towel many times, but I know this is my passion.  If you feel like this is what you want to do, then find the time. I write in the morning, when my son leaves for school. I write until he comes home...and then I sometimes write at night.  You can do it....if it is what you want.

I have been published online and in print. I have a book out. However, I am not making what I would like right now....but somewhere in my heart, I know I will oneday. I am not ready to give up on my dream. I find myself dreaming about writing even in my sleep, that is scary......

I hope I have helped you come to some kind of resolution.  It is all up to you. You may have to juggle your responsiblities, or delegate them to someone else, but it can be done.  I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

http://homebody2001-ivil.tripod.com

 

 

I took 2.5 years from my writing life to earn an MBA.  What a useless dream.  I earned the degree online, writing (on average) 8,000 words or more a week between online discussions and term papers but I learned how to discipline my time so that I didn't sacrifice my family life or my day job. 

The time I spent studying, I now spend writing.  The battle for me isn't whether to write, but what to write.  Should I go back to magazines or non-fiction?  Should I try fiction?  During school, I always wanted what I couldn't have and I battled the clock for whatever keyboard time I could muster.  Now the time is available and my family remains supportive.  For me, the decision to write isn't difficult anymore.

Dreams are not useless; they're our co-pilots.  Keep at it.

James

 

 

   Damn the day job. But I have also come to realize that not one good story I have ever read was written by somebody with all the time in the world because they didn't have to deal with the struggles that make good stories. There isn't a whole lot of passion coming out of someone sitting at home wondering what they're going to do today before coming to the brilliant idea that he or she should sit down to write, edit then publish the Great American Novel. The stories I like make me say to myself, "Thank God my life is what it is." And those stories you can't just make up, you have to live them first. If you haven't put up with more struggles, or lived a larger life than your readers, they won't be very interested in what you have to say.

   I remember my mom crying out of the frustration of hating her job. The day job that did nothing but make ends meet. Her kids were grown, finished with college, starting their own families. But she still had to wake up everyday and tend to the monotony of a damn day job. Her customers complained. Her boss complained more. Her salary was less than mine. Retirement remained the uncorked bottle of vintage, collecting dust in the corner of semi-tidy kitchen.

   I called her in sick that day. Like she did for me when I was a kid, faking it in bed so I could stay home and be pampered by my mom. Called her in sick and took her wine tasting. Thanked her for giving up her dreams so she could raise a family that makes me want to play hookie from life so I can lay around and be with my mom.

   She will have the time one day to write that book, and when she does, she'll have the stories too.