I just read your response to my Sarah. She laughed too.
love, LinnAnn

"Oh my gosh, I tripped over a dead guy!"

The man sat up in the gutter. "I'm dead?"

"Of course! Thank goodness."

"Oh? CRAP!", and he laid back down.

Valzi, I don't think you got the idea of this.
love, LinnAnn

Lailynn had just gotten off of work, down at the local Steakhouse. She was walking down the road, counting her tips for the evening thinking to herself, "the pay isn't bad, but I gotta get away from that place. Too many guys ogling me, I'm always afraid they'll follow me home one of these nights." Just then she heard a noise behind her, and her sudden instinct was to start walking faster. As she picked up her pace, she kept hearing noises now and again making her speed up even more. Until finally she was at a full run, zooming down the street, not minding even where she was going. That's when she tripped, and fell to the ground with a thud. She held her head for a moment, trying to regain her senses. Finally she looked at what, or who, she had tripped on. She saw a man, lying in the gutter motionless, not breathing. She let out a big gasp, and cried out.

"Oh my gosh, I tripped over a dead guy!"

The man sat up in the gutter. "I'm dead?"

"Oh, you're not! Thank goodness."

"I'm not? CRAP!", and he laid back down. Suddenly confused at this turn of events, she walked over next to the man and knealt down.

"So, why are you lying in the gutter." She asked curiously.

"This be my home, yee gots a problem wiff dat?" He said surly.

"Oh no, it's a nice home but uh, don't you have a house to live in?"

"Look lady, I don't really wants to talk about it, eh? Things in a man's life he just dun wanna talk about."

"Oh, I understand. I apologize for tripping over you before, I didn't realize where I was going."

"If ya dun mind, ma asking. Why were ye running so fast? What caused ye such a fright?" She looked down at him, and he promptly stared right at her with eyes that seemed to care, yet not care at the same time.

"Only if you'll tell me why you're sleeping in the gutter." The man looked away for a moment, then put a hand to his chin.

"Alright, fine, if ye tell me yer horror story, I'll tell ye my sad life story. Deal?"

"Deal. Coffee?"

"No thanks, however I would like a nice soda."

Lailynn smiled and helped the man up from his cozy cement bed. Together they walked to the nearest diner, all the way speaking not a word. When they arrived inside, the man behind the counter gave them a glare and continued mopping the floor. He tried to keep as steady as possible so as not to disturb the little paper hat taking residence on his dreadlocks. Lailynn and the homeless man, took a seat at the barstools near the counter, waiting patiently for someone to take their order. The man who was previously mopping came over, and looked them both in the eyes, never cracking a smile once.

"Ey mon, what keen I do for ja?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee." She ordered.

"One soda for the 'omeless man," hobo inquired.

"Be right wit ja," Dreadlocks said as he sauntered off.

"So about that horror story, miss. What happened to you?"

"Well, I work at this steakhouse a little ways down the road, and being a waitress there I can't help but feel a little uneasy when I leave at night. Afraid that some of the local men might follow me home, and well...I'd rather not mention what they might do. So as I was leaving, I heard a noise, and it sent me into a flying fury. Next thing I know I met you, and now here we are."

"Ye have good reason to be afraid, young-ins 'round these parts, can't be trusted." Dreadlocks came back and set a cup of coffee, and a bottle of soda on the table.

"What about your sad story, and what made you want to curl up and die in a gutter."

"Well in all technicality I wasn't curled up, I was laying flat in the gutter." She giggled at his comment, and stopped herself.

"I'm sorry, it's not a laughing matter." But to her surprise he was smiling too, a bigger grin than a child who just got a puppy.

"Not a laughing matter, but it's still funny." He took a swig of his soda, and started. "It was about three days ago, I was coming home from work early one day, because boss was having a bad day. I was trouncing home, merrily humming to myself, until I got inside. My wife was nowhere to be found, I searched all over the house only to find a letter on the counter. She had written a letter of her personal feelings, and regrets. She said that my 'sense of humor was lame, my fashion sense was borish, and my feet smell.' " Again Lailynn couldn't help but laugh at the comment, and again stopped herself. He took it all in stride and kept on. "My wife had left me, for dafter reasons than I could imagine. Then the next day, I lost my job, because my boss had burnt down the place, and started raving something about 'Pyro Technic Weasel Man' whilst running down the street pants-less." He took a break while Lailynn regained herself again. "That's when I decided that, I needed a change of pace, or I needed to die. The only way I was gonna find out, was to stay a night in the gutter, and see if I live or die."

"I'm sorry to hear that..." She looked at her coffee in silence. The man looked up and stared at the ceiling.

"But ya know something, after you tripped over me, and brought me here for soda. I've gained a whole new perspective..." She looked at him curiously. "There are some people out there, that aren't at all what they seem. Then there are those out there, that are exactly what you need. A guiding light, a shooting star, a ray of hope...an all you can eat buffet!" Lailynn laughed at this last comment, and the man smiled. "You don't realize it yet, but you've saved my life, and for that I thank you." He got up to walk away.

"You're welcome, I dunno what I did exactly but...what are you going to do now?"

"Well, for starters, I'm going back home. Even if my wife isn't there, it's still a place to stay for now. Job wise, I'll try to get a job at another agency, and just start over."

"Sounds like a plan...by the way, what's your name?"

"The name, is Henry, Henry Caramaker."

"Henry huh? I'll have to remember that name. My name is Lailynn, and I hope we meet again."

"If you're ever in south side, drop by my place, I'll be waiting with a fresh pot of coffee." With that Henry waved one last time, and headed home. Lailynn looked at her coffee, and heard a small sniffling sound from behind the counter. She looked back there, and the man with the dreadlocks was crying.

"I know exactly where dat man be comin' from!" Just then he blew his nose into a kleenex, making a huge honking noise.

QUOTE: Originally posted by LinnAnn

Valzi, I don't think you got the idea of this.
love, LinnAnn


actually, i do, but i didn't want to do it that way! i wanted to just try messing up the original in a way i liked, rather than adding to it. hope that hasn't bothered anyone!

=D

-valzi

it wasnt gross. it was honk honk. which is good. dont defy me!

"Well, 'Sir', thanks for the interesting story." Linnann said. "Ha ha. Gross as usual, but it wouldn't be you if otherwise." Again, she giggled.

There were a couple of spots where she was uber-confused about the description or action matching the right person. Other wise, she found it quite interesting, if not a bit.. eery.

She decided to discuss it with her favorite roomate.

"Candi, I was thinking he was a vampire. "What else could have a sparkling renewed purpose?"

Candi's eyes were not dull. In fact, they glinted with same old purpose they always had. What a bore.

"Now.. Now I understand, Candi. You remind me of Sir Didymus." She laughed nervously, as if it would somehow ward her off. Somehow, it did not.

"Oh my gosh, I tripped over a dead guy!"

The man sat up in the gutter. "I'm dead?"

"Oh, you're not! Thank goodness."

"I'm not? CRAP!", and he laid back down.

"Oh, but you must be alive!" the girl insisted.

The man raised himself again: "Why? What is there to live for?"

"Well, there's the Sun shining down on Earth..."

"The Sun is overrated. It is just a massive nuclear furnace emitting light."

"But it looks so nice."

"But it makes you blind, if you stare at it."

"What about the birds?"

"What birds?"

The little girl looked around hoping to spot a few. She spotted a raven, circling a nearby industrial backyard. "There," she pointed.

The man in the gutter turned his head, tilted it slightly and shaded his eyes. "Oh, them. They pick on dead meat, discarded in the slaughterhouse."

The girl was silent for a few moments. Just when the man was about to lay down again, she jumped: "What about the skies? Blue skies, where you can fly an aeroplane..."

"Oh, I did that. It was nice while it lasted. But one day several systems broke down at once and I landed on the wrong runway, ditching the plane. No one would ever hire me since."

"So you are a pilot?"

"I was."

After a few brief moments of silence the man asked the girl: "Would you like to know how it is like to fly?"

"Yes."

The man crawled out of the gutter, picked the little girl up, raised her above his head, and started running around, making airplane like noises while lifting, lowereing and tilting the girl. She screamed of joy and they went on and on, until the man was left breathless due to his age and illness. They both collapsed on the ground and the man was catching his breath.

"Are you ok, mister?"

"I'm fine." He was breathing heavily and he could hardly speak, but he somehow managed to utter: "And I'm alive!"

thnx, candi

valzi, thnx2u2!